Other People Don’t Think You’re a Mess
Scientific AmericanIndividuals often overestimate how harshly others judge them. But self-compassion can help build a more balanced, healthy perspective.
Read when you’ve got time to spare.
The concepts of “good” and “bad” judgment are tricky to navigate. Making snap judgments can help us make important survival decisions, but most of us also pass judgment in a way that doesn’t exactly benefit our personal well-being—or others.
So how do we cut down on the unproductive type of judgment? Fostering more empathy and practicing mindfulness is a start. Behavioral scientists generally agree that healthier judgment begins with cultivating self-compassion, rejecting snobbery, and easing up on certain snap decision-making processes.
Read on for expert tips on how to make decisions that are better rooted in fact, while also giving yourself and others a little extra grace.
Individuals often overestimate how harshly others judge them. But self-compassion can help build a more balanced, healthy perspective.
Experts give some pointers on how to cultivate more grace and self-compassion so you can truly thrive in life.
We’d all like to think we’re open to new ideas and curious about how others see the world. But our brains aren’t wired that way—in fact, being open-minded takes some conscious practice.
Stuck in a negative self-talk spiral? Here’s what you can do about.
Pushing yourself to listen to contrary opinions is the way to make better judgments.
BONUS READ: Live Like the Ancient Cynics via The Atlantic.
Science suggests we’re hardwired to delude ourselves. Can we do anything about it?
Taking a moment to pause and really look at the other person can help us all avoid embarrassment and hurt feelings, says youth empowerment activist Quita Christison.
Do you use words like: better than, right, wrong, lazy, or unambitious to describe your coworkers or managers? If so, you may be hurting your career progress.
BONUS READ: Want To Be Happier and More Successful? Learn To Like Other People via Fast Company.
We tend to think that people can easily tell what we’re thinking and feeling. They can’t. Understanding the illusion of transparency bias can improve relationships, job performance, and more.
BONUS READ: Hanlon’s Razor: Relax, Not Everything is Out to Get You via Farnam Street.
‘Do-gooders’ are often judged harshly. Why do we resent their acts of altruism or question their motives?
A simple practice to boost intelligence, avoid cognitive bias, and prove your own ideas wrong.
BONUS READ: Changing Your Mind Can Make You Less Anxious via The Atlantic.
The tendency to judge in favor of people and symbols we like is called the bias from liking or loving, and it affects how we make decisions.
BONUS READ: We All Think We Know The People We Love. We’re All Deluded via NPR.
My life-long recovery from snobbery.
BONUS READ: The Science of Snobbery: How We’re Duped Into Thinking Fancy Things Are Better via The Atlantic.
Explore this 15-minute guided meditation to open up some space for yourself to sit with what is, rather than what if.
BONUS READ: How to Start Meditating via Pocket Collections.