There’s nothing quite as demoralising as the nagging feeling that you don’t deserve your successes. Whether it’s a new job, a big promotion or even praise from your boss, too often, our successes at work are clouded by this feeling that we can’t actually be worthy. That we somehow ‘got away with something’. That we are, in reality, imposters.
Amanda Brenkley is an entrepreneur coach and founder of Coaching Mastery Academy. She has seen examples of imposter syndrome in many of her clients.
According to Brenkley, imposter syndrome is the constant worry that we are, in fact, frauds and that, despite all evidence to the contrary, we don’t deserve the success we have. As Brenkley notes, even the most objectively competent people can experience the feeling that they don’t deserve their success.
Brenkley walked us through her PETAL method, a five-step system she uses to help her clients overcome those nagging feelings of inferiority once and for all.
Common signs imposter syndrome is affecting you
Some people never realise that the reason why they feel like a fraud isn’t that they are one, but rather that they simply have imposter syndrome.
The most common signs to look out for in yourself, according to Brenkley, are:
- Perfectionism in your career
- Fear of exposure
- Competitiveness with colleagues
- Comparison to colleagues and peers
- Seeking constant validation
- Self-discrediting
- Lack of confidence
- Hesitation to show intelligence
- Anxiety at work
How to overcome imposter syndrome with the PETAL method
Imposter syndrome is something of an epidemic in our workplaces – particularly when it comes to women.
“The PETAL model is an approach to counteract imposter syndrome’s insidious self-doubt,” Brenkley tells Stylist. “This approach, which I have used myself and shared with countless entrepreneurs, empowers individuals to regain control of their mindset, paving the way for success.”
Here, she walks us through each step, so that you can start building up your defences against imposter syndrome, too.
Protect your time and energy
When we feel like frauds in our own jobs, we tend to become, for lack of a better word, pushovers. We don’t deserve this success, we think. We do, however, deserve to be doing menial tasks that don’t actually fall within our job descriptions.
The first step in banishing imposter syndrome is sticking up for ourselves by respecting our own time and energy. Practise saying no and channelling your energy into valuable endeavours.
Encompass the micro-wins
Brenkley emphasises the importance of recognising and celebrating small successes. Celebrating our small successes helps us to recognise all of the little things that add up to make us worthy.
“Embrace a meticulous approach to your work, leaving no room for self-doubt to creep in by celebrating yourself and your achievements at every opportunity,” Brenkley advises. “Feeling good about yourself will raise your vibrations and this will call in more opportunities for success. Acknowledge when you gained strength, when you invested in yourself, when you tried, when you put yourself out there. By focusing on the micro wins of your endeavours, you bolster your self-confidence and grow in competence.”
Train your brain to embrace vulnerability and uncertainty
When we feel uncertain about what we’re doing or where we’re going, we tend to feel more fraudulent than ever. By learning to sit in uncertainty, you can begin to let go of feelings of inadequacy.
It’s also important, she notes, to accept that being unsure doesn’t mean you aren’t worthy of being where you are – in fact, realising that you don’t always have all of the answers means that you’re mature, honest and, yes, worthy of being right where you are.
Audit yourself
“Auditing is not just for holidays,” Brenkley says. “It’s a practice essential for personal and professional growth.”
Take time to reflect on what you’ve been doing recently in your career. Recognising the nitty-gritty details of your actual day-to-day work can help you realise that you are doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing. It can also help you pinpoint the areas that need improvement. This way, your feelings of inadequacy are no longer vague and all-consuming, but rather, they are productive and solvable.
Ask yourself:
- Did I work on the things that matter most today?
- Did I progress in a way that supports my vision, dream or goal?
- Did I avoid distractions today?
- Did I set my intentions/priorities for the day and achieve them?
- Did I engage in a way which feels good and from a place of heart and soul?
Leave behind limiting beliefs
After you’ve learned to acknowledge what exactly makes you worthy, you can begin to break through the mental boundaries that have been holding you back.
“The fifth step but one of the most important steps in the PETAL model involves shedding limiting beliefs that hinder your progress,” Brenkley notes. “Challenge self-imposed boundaries and question assumptions. It is the single most effective thing you can do to make breakthroughs and achieve success. If you work on limiting beliefs, there is no internal conflict; you wouldn’t sabotage your own success because you believe in yourself and know that you are worth it. By replacing self-doubt with self-belief, you pave the way for genuine confidence and success.”
Images: Getty; courtesy of Amanda Brenkley