Beta
Must Read on Pocket

This is one of the most-saved, read, and shared stories on Pocket.

Recommendations from Pocket Users

Jesse Hicks

Shared January 2, 2017

The new digital spy tools present parents with a quandary. Adolescence is a critical time in kids’ lives, when they need privacy and a sense of individual space to develop their own identities. It can be almost unbearable for parents to watch their children pull away. But as tempting as it may be for parents to infiltrate the dark corners of their children’s personal lives, there’s good evidence that snooping does more harm than good.

Wesley Verhoeve

Shared January 23, 2017

🙏🏻

Melissa Kim

Shared January 18, 2017

I cannot believe this is a thing that needs to be said??? Pls do not spy on your kids. Pls do not spy on anyone!!! Privacy is a human right!!!!!

Rex Arul

Shared December 21, 2016

As a parent of a teen, this age of technology scares me

Rex Arul

Shared December 21, 2016

But there’s a fine line between protection and obsession

Rex Arul

Shared December 21, 2016

Adolescence is a critical time in kids’ lives, when they need privacy and a sense of individual space to develop their own identities

Rex Arul

Shared December 21, 2016

there’s good evidence that snooping does more harm than good

Rex Arul

Shared December 21, 2016

Taking the long view, the goal of parenting is to create a healthy, self-sufficient adult

Rex Arul

Shared December 21, 2016

What’s hard about parenting is balancing the kid’s desire for autonomy with safety concerns

Rex Arul

Shared December 21, 2016

The ability to experience privacy is probably a basic human need that transcends culture

Rex Arul

Shared December 21, 2016

An adolescent’s main job is to individuate, to move away from being controlled by the parent

Rex Arul

Shared December 21, 2016

There’s considerable evidence that intruding on kids’ privacy damages the parent-child relationship

Rex Arul

Shared December 21, 2016

If parents are engaging in highly intrusive behaviors, it is ultimately going to backfire on them

Jasen Farmer

Shared January 15, 2017

#Helicopterparents & their spying hurts kid's trust & development @NautilusMag #control #parenting

There’s considerable evidence that intruding on kids’ privacy damages the parent-child relationship, says Petronio. “When parents snoop, they show mistrust,” she says. “That overarching need for control really damages the relationship.”

And covert spying, Hawk adds, isn’t likely to stay covert for long. Most kids are more tech savvy than their parents. Odds are good they’ll discover those tracking apps and figure out how to hack the system—leaving their location-tracking phone in their locker when they ditch class, or setting up a second (secret) Instagram account.

Unsurprisingly, when kids don’t feel they can trust their parents, they become even more secretive. Hawk saw this effect in a sample of junior-high students in the Netherlands, where feelings about individualism and autonomy are similar to those in the United States. The researchers asked the kids about whether their parents respected their privacy. A year later, the children of snoops reported more secretive behaviors, and their parents reported knowing less about the child’s activities, friends, and whereabouts, compared to other parents.

Liviya Simmons

Shared December 30, 2016

To all the fellow parents out there, I will say........you know what, never-mind, you can read the thing yourself.

Barun Singh

Shared February 28, 2017

What the heck!?

Great article though.

An app called Mama Bear even sends parents speeding alerts if their kid is traveling too fast in a car.

Seanna Hill

Shared May 29, 2017

I agree with this article but depends on what the kids are doing

Shailendra Paliwal

Shared January 13, 2017

The bottom line is that if you’re trying to satisfy your need to know, because you have a low tolerance for ambiguity, you don’t give your child a place to learn how to make better decisions

Lucas Tarasconi

Shared December 17, 2016

Take alcohol use. Kids who experiment with drinking in adolescence but don’t become heavy drinkers tend to be psychologically healthier than those who never experiment

Jason Rubin

Shared January 30, 2017

a parent’s desire to spy might have less to do with keeping kids safe, and more to do with a burning desire to lower his or her own anxiety. “The bottom line is that if you’re trying to satisfy your need to know, because you have a low tolerance for ambiguity, you don’t give your child a place to learn how to make better decisions

Viktor Voronin

Shared March 30, 2017

Well thought through problem overview.

Christina Palutsis

Shared May 2, 2016

"When kids feel their privacy has been invaded, it can lead to the types of mental health problems that experts call 'internalizing' behaviors—things like anxiety, depression, and withdrawal. 'There’s a lot of research indicating that kids who grow up with overly intrusive parents are more susceptible to those mental health problems, partly because they undermine the child’s confidence in their abilities to function independently,' says Laurence Steinberg, a professor of psychology at Temple University and author of Age of Opportunity: Lessons From the New Science of Adolescence."

Edén

Shared February 20, 2017

Espiar los dispositivos de tu hijo: otro signo de que hay padres que creen sus hijos son una propiedad. La suya.

Ahad Nemati

Shared March 2, 2017

great article , illuminating.

Petar Kashev

Shared October 16, 2017

Shout out за всички настоящи и бъдещи родители 🙂

Lily Lou

Shared December 25, 2016

@@@@my parents

Pragya Jaiswal

Shared April 13, 2017

What’s hard about parenting is balancing the kid’s desire for autonomy with safety concerns

Pragya Jaiswal

Shared April 13, 2017

The bottom line is that if you’re trying to satisfy your need to know, because you have a low tolerance for ambiguity, you don’t give your child a place to learn how to make better decisions

James Gifford

Shared December 24, 2016

perhaps more importantly, if parents spy on their kids, then you have already taught them that it's OK to spy on them. Hello NSA!

Danilo Cunha

Shared July 19, 2017

“The ability to experience privacy is probably a basic human need that transcends culture”

giralka

Shared September 19, 2017

"Adolescence is a critical time in kids’ lives, when they need privacy and a sense of individual space to develop their own identities."

I have a friend who is in the same situation. Although her mother does not have all these spy apps, she has friends and neighbours who would tip off the daughter's whereabouts. I think, somehow that is much more frightening than having a little bug on your phone.

She's tried to resolve this issue so many times but the mother refuses to listen even when she finds herself unable to justify her intrusive behaviour.

We do understand that adults worry for their children but at some point, you've got to learn to let go especially as they are becoming adults. They have to learn to take care of themselves. Being an intrusive parent will not help!

This issue will distort the child's perception of you as a parent and their competency in functioning as an adult.

matthew goldring

Shared October 27, 2017

The last paragraph linking intrusive privacy breach by helicopter parents to mental health decline is scary. The psych wards are gonna get way busier.

Joe Orstad

Shared December 5, 2017

The parent-child relationship isn’t the only thing that suffers when a child doesn’t have enough personal space. When kids feel their privacy has been invaded, it can lead to the types of mental health problems that experts call “internalizing” behaviors—things like anxiety, depression, and withdrawal.

Chamroen Eng

Shared December 26, 2016

For the parents

JT Kim

Shared January 3, 2017

포켓

Mandie Snyder, an accountant near Spokane, Washington, has been “monitoring”

JT Kim

Shared January 3, 2017

ㅁㅇㄹㅁ 포켓

ugs, suicide, and friends. “Because I read the conversations she has with friends, we can have impromptu conversations about what’s going on in her

도훈 김

Shared January 16, 2017

17. 1. 16(mon)

Kevin Rivas

Shared February 14, 2017

Every teen must read this!!!

halle✧.°

Shared February 16, 2017

"But as tempting as it may be for parents to infiltrate the dark corners of their children’s personal lives, there’s good evidence that snooping does more harm than good."

But as tempting as it may be for parents to infiltrate the dark corners of their children’s personal lives, there’s good evidence that snooping does more harm than good.

Aylin Ozyigit

Shared February 17, 2017

the goal of parenting is to create a healthy, self-sufficient adult.

Jim McKowen

Shared February 26, 2017

Of course, the parents are at fault again! The media are incorrectly documenting crime and risks prevalent to youth!
These "scientists" couldn't possibly have come to unbelievably incorrect conclusions. Do they even listen to themselves as they says tis garbage?!?!

fonda lin

Shared February 28, 2017

This is fantastic.

Daniela Sanchez

Shared March 20, 2017

Don't smoke 💨
It kill's you!!!!

Sharmistha Chakraborty

Shared March 30, 2017

I think ........

J Ca

Shared April 5, 2017

Mirad esto

Vicki Overton

Shared April 8, 2017

"Based on my research, I think snooping might say as much about the parent’s adjustment as it does about the child’s—maybe even more so,” he says."

Mario Alonso

Shared April 17, 2017

En España

Rahique Ahammad

Shared April 17, 2017

Parents shouldn't spot on their kids

Rosanna Hoxie

Shared April 19, 2017

No they should not!

David Lucente

Shared May 3, 2017

something to think about, maybe

Wayne Watson

Shared June 18, 2017

Disgusting that parents feel that they have the right to spy on their children. Imagine if the tables were turned and your children knew about your tax fraud, adultery, drug-taking or real honest confessions around your spouse, children friends etc? Hello NSA and policed society !

Tawee Techasitsuebpong

Shared July 3, 2017

savvy

Sidney Howard

Shared July 6, 2017

What a world teens live in today.

Tania Escobar

Shared July 31, 2017

Definitely agree.

Tania Escobar

Shared July 31, 2017

Definitely agree.

Troy Liu

Shared August 22, 2017

“An adolescent’s main job is to individuate, to move away from being controlled by the parent. One very clear way they do that is in their demand for private space,” she

Maggie Stewart

Shared September 13, 2017

please read the whole thing.

Pocket User

Shared October 1, 2017

mSpy

Peach Jam

Shared October 15, 2017

adolescent

Norwyn Steilsson

Shared November 22, 2017

The ability to experience privacy is probably a basic human need that transcends culture,”

Ronald Kaufmann

Shared November 23, 2017

Lesenswert... :) #Privatsphäre

Ali Ciger

Shared December 11, 2017

do not spy :)

Unsurprisingly, when kids don’t feel they can trust their parents, they become even more secretive. Hawk saw this effect in a sample of junior-high students in the Netherlands, where feelings about individualism and autonomy are similar to those in the United States. The researchers asked the kids about whether their parents respected their privacy. A year later, the children of snoops reported more secretive behaviors, and their parents reported knowing less about the child’s activities, friends, and whereabouts, compared to other parents.

Ali Ciger

Shared December 11, 2017

In most communities, it’s a safe time to be a kid. According to FBI figures, the violent crime rate dropped 48 percent between 1993 and 2011. Child mortality rates are down. Reports of missing children are at record lows.

Ali Ciger

Shared December 11, 2017

Ultimately, the best way to know what is going on with your child is for them to tell you what is going on

Julia Milligan

Shared December 23, 2017

To my mother

Don Moorman

Shared January 28, 2018

Contrary to popular belief

In most communities, it’s a safe time to be a kid. According to FBI figures, the violent crime rate dropped 48 percent between 1993 and 2011. Child mortality rates are down. Reports of missing children are at record lows.

Rixin Cong

Shared March 25, 2018

What’s hard about parenting is balancing the kid’s desire for autonomy with safety concerns

Hung Nguyen

Shared April 16, 2018

monitoring

Shyrile Miranda

Shared 5 days ago

🤔💯

imagemaster

Shared October 25, 2017

For the past two years, Mandie Snyder, an accountant near Spokane, Washington, has been “monitoring” her daughter. With a handy tech tool known as mSpy, Snyder is able to review her 13-year-old’s text messages, photos, videos, app downloads, and browser history.