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Recommendations from Pocket Users

david mcqueen

Shared January 1, 2017

2. we seem to be more worried about raising happy children than competent or autonomous ones.

Lauren Reynolds

Shared September 7, 2017

Huge proponent of laissez faire parenting

Yuk Yu, Alison LEE

Shared December 24, 2016

Lahey sees the results of a fixed mindset in her classrooms. The kids who have been overpraised for their smarts “do the bare minimum required top get by; they never take up the gauntlet of challenging extra work and are reluctant to risk saying anything that might be wrong,” she writes.

Dweck’s advice is easy: praise effort, not outcomes. Lahey adds to that advice: let your kids know about your own struggles. If they see you fail and survive, they will know that failing at a task is not failing as a person.

Mica Yambao

Shared August 24, 2017

Rescuing her son would make Lahey feel like a good mom, but it would not help her son’s organizational issues. Parenting for the long term meant leaving the homework on the table and letting her son, and herself, suffer a bit.

Maciej Bliziński

Shared March 15, 2017

While I'm an expert in parenting (that is: no kids)

Sam Chan

Shared January 1, 2017

The dirty secret of parenting is that kids can do more than we think they can, and it’s up to us to figure that out.

Tucker Chastain

Shared October 10, 2017

Although advice like “let them try and fail” seems blindingly obvious, it is very hard to implement.

Tucker Chastain

Shared October 10, 2017

Although advice like “let them try and fail” seems blindingly obvious, it is very hard to implement.

Julio Makdisse Saito

Shared December 25, 2017

we seem to be more worried about raising happy children than competent or autonomous ones.

Karl Blattmann

Shared October 25, 2015

Can't wait to get to think about this stuff with our new daughter.

Karl Blattmann

Shared October 25, 2015

Can't wait to get to think about this stuff with our new daughter.

Evren Atesalp

Shared November 25, 2016

Makes absolute sense, however easier said than done!

Keshaw Gajadin

Shared January 27, 2017

Kids who were raised by controlling or directive parents could not contemplate tasks on their own, but the kids who were being raised by autonomy-supportive parents stuck with tasks, even when they got frustrated. Kids who can redirect and stay engaged in tasks, even when they find those tasks difficult become less and less dependent on guidance in order to focus, study, organize, and otherwise run their own lives.

Andrew Ellis

Shared March 28, 2017

No more participation awards

Roberto Chang

Shared January 3, 2017

Your

Emanoel Carvalho Lopes

Shared March 1, 2017

I'll try

"praise effort, not outcomes."

Алексей Точилов

Shared March 22, 2017

логично, блин

Zaky Amirullah

Shared July 31, 2017

Good insight

Korbinian Saggau

Shared September 11, 2017

@J

Margaret K Ramey

Shared January 11, 2018

Relearn from there mistakes

Jessica Mita

Shared December 22, 2016

To note for the future. Failure = success

Paul Wachtel

Shared January 11, 2017

being

M J

Shared April 14, 2017

Seems blindingly obvious

Emmy Udoh Jr.

Shared August 16, 2017

For present and aspiring parents

Aditya DSR

Shared September 22, 2017

Hits the bullseye with quite an ease, but go through it only if you are open to the opinion. I loved it!!

Lindsay Sims

Shared December 5, 2017

Failing is learning.

David Johnson

Shared December 24, 2017

very interesting

Michael Wagura

Shared January 16, 2018

Good read

Dale Brittain

Shared March 10, 2017

No more participation medals! Not tough love, just smart love.

Michelle Henson

Shared July 6, 2017

this is so true nowadays

Jay Chang

Shared February 3, 2016

She couldn’t pinpoint the root of the problem until she realized: we seem to be more worried about raising happy children than competent or autonomous ones.

Lahey cites the work of Wendy Grolnick, a psychologist, who puts pairs of mothers and children in a room and videotapes them as they play. Grolnick then labels the mothers as “controlling” or “autonomy-supportive,” meaning the moms let the kids figure things out on their own. Grolnick then invites the pairs back and the children are put in a room by themselves and asked to perform a task. The results were “striking,” Grolnick says in the book. The children who had controlling mothers gave up when faced with a task they could not master. The others did not. Lahey writes:

Kids who were raised by controlling or directive parents could not contemplate tasks on their own, but the kids who were being raised by autonomy-supportive parents stuck with tasks, even when they got frustrated. Kids who can redirect and stay engaged in tasks, even when they find those tasks difficult become less and less dependent on guidance in order to focus, study, organize, and otherwise run their own lives.

siska maria Eviline

Shared December 18, 2016

Guys, you need to read this..

Mik Wimmers

Shared December 19, 2016

good article about a great book

alexis campomanes

Shared December 20, 2016

ee2n

Devon

Shared January 4, 2017

Lahey sees the results of a fixed mindset in her classrooms. The kids who have been overpraised for their smarts “do the bare minimum required top get by; they never take up the gauntlet of challenging extra work and are reluctant to risk saying anything that might be wrong,” she writes.
Dweck’s advice is easy: praise effort, not outcomes. Lahey adds to that advice: let your kids know about your own struggles. If they see you fail and survive, they will know that failing at a task is not failing as a person.

marzia moretti

Shared January 9, 2017

She couldn’t pinpoint the root of the problem until she realized: we seem to be more worried about raising happy children than competent or autonomous ones.

Victor Wong

Shared January 16, 2017

share this as an opinion.

Rodolfo Oviedo

Shared January 18, 2017

Let

Peter Nemeth

Shared February 5, 2017

Raising people thinking and acting for themselves? YES PLEASE!

Arden Turnbull

Shared February 10, 2017

great adivce

Chad Roghair

Shared February 19, 2017

"Lahey suggests that if you go to the games, cheer like a grandparent and not a parent. College athletes wanted grandparents at their games because their support was not predicated on achievement."

Hala Mendel

Shared March 16, 2017

la app funciona pero no hay paginas en español

Anna Carbonell

Shared March 28, 2017

As a teenager, I simply loved this article

Anchal verma

Shared April 14, 2017

best

Tiffany McLeod

Shared April 28, 2017

Success in just about everything is proceeded by failure. From tweaking a program, repairing an appliance, to building something from scratch: try, fail, try something else, fail, try something else, succeed! Science calls this experimenting. Technicians and coders call it troubleshooting. If you don't know how to fail usefully as an adult, you are shit out of luck. If you give up as soon as you fail the first time, you will never learn anything and never advance personally or professionally. You will be at the mercy of vultures of all sorts, willing to overcharge you for everything, manipulate you as they please, and abandon you as soon as you are no longer of use to them. Fortunately, you can start to practice learning through failure anytime. Go play a video game or try to fix a broken item.

erica m

Shared May 4, 2017

"Be open with your kids about your own struggles, it shows them that you can fail a test or mess something up and still survive. it shows them that failing at a task is not failing as a person." -this article is what every parent needs to be reminded of at times.

Kathy Ellen Davis

Shared August 11, 2017

We are all about this. Rosemary fails all the time and when she gets older I'll tell her about all my writing rejections!

Arlene K

Shared November 13, 2017

Sound advice 👍🏻

JT Kim

Shared January 3, 2017

If, out of love or a desire to bolster your child’s self-esteem, you picked A or B, teacher and author Jessica Lahey thinks you’re wrong.

“Do I want [my kids] to be happy now and not-scared and not-anxious, or, a year from now, do I hope that they pushed through being a-little-anxious and a little scared and became a little more competent?” she told Quartz.

Marc Otten

Shared January 9, 2017

Hi Stephanie, please read this.

June Yeoh

Shared January 10, 2017

how many parents are guilty of this?

Asad nur

Shared January 15, 2017

https://goo.gl/1RNu1J

Grocery Guy

Shared May 9, 2017

Been reading a book called "Drop the Worry Ball" that follows along the same lines

Francisco Quintero

Shared May 28, 2017

Rescuing her son would make Lahey feel like a good mom, but it would not help her son’s organizational issues. Parenting for the long term meant leaving the homework on the table and letting her son, and herself, suffer a bit.

Verma Abanilla

Shared August 4, 2017

"Lahey sees the results of a fixed mindset in her classrooms. The kids who have been overpraised for their smarts “do the bare minimum required top get by; they never take up the gauntlet of challenging extra work and are reluctant to risk saying anything that might be wrong,” she writes."