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4 Brilliant Ways to Respond to Someone Gaslighting You, According to a Therapist

Gaslighting can often leave us speechless with shock – but there are four assertive ways to respond.


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There’s nothing more frustrating than people who try to gaslight you.

The form of emotional abuse, where someone seeks to make a person doubt their own sanity, is something experienced by many – particularly women, who, according to a 2018 policing report, account for 95% of all gaslighting victims. 

Being able to respond to gaslighting can be just as tricky as identifying it – and one person highlighting the best way to respond to this form of abuse is Dr Pria.

The clinical psychologist and popular TikToker has shared four assertive responses to people who try to gaslight you in a video that has been viewed over 864,000 times.

In the clip, Dr Pria says the first assertive response people should say is “I know what I experienced.”

Next, she says, “We remember that differently” is a good way to respond to someone who is gaslighting you, followed by “I hear you, but that’s not my experience.”

Lastly, Dr Pria says, “My emotions are not up for debate” is the fourth and final assertive response worth using to shut down gaslighters.

The video, which has been liked by over 103,000 people, saw many take to the comments to share their experiences being gaslit, while sharing the phrases they use.

One commented that her go-to response is “This conversation is over” while another wrote: “You can’t tell me how I felt”.

“The phrase I like to use is ‘We remember that differently’”, another commented. “This usually shuts them down.”

A fourth said: “I say ‘perception is everything’ doesn’t matter what he/she says their intent was. How you perceive something is always more important.”

Commenters also shared how they planned to use these responses going forward.

“Currently making flashcards so I can memorise these responses,” one said. “I freeze up and lose my train of thought every time I get gaslit by the narc.”

“Definitely going to be implementing these phrases going forward,” another wrote. “I experience this so frequently and I never know how best to respond but this has changed things for me.”

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This post originally appeared on Stylist and was published January 11, 2022. This article is republished here with permission.

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