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How to Reframe the ‘Month of Love’

Fewer teddy bears and chocolate hearts, more showing up and doing the work, even when it’s uncomfortable.

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If the sight of pink teddy bears and bouquets of roses this time of the year starts to give you the ick… I’m with you. We’re inundated with messages about what our love should look like and how we should feel about them. But if I’ve learned anything in my years of talking to people about intimacy and relationships for my award-winning podcast Embodied, it’s that love doesn’t always look the way it’s presented in pop culture—or marketing.

Love isn’t about teddy bears. It’s about showing up and doing the work, even when it’s uncomfortable. So with that, I offer you a ‘Month Of Love’ reframe! What if Valentine's Day was less about performing your love and more about learning how to love yourself—and other people—better?

Here are some of the stories, insights, resources, and pieces of art that have helped me complicate my understanding of love and relationships. They’ve taught me how to better care for myself and the people I hold close. I hope they’ll help you do the same!

Jane van Koeverden

Anita Rao

Anita Rao is an award-winning journalist and the host and creator of Embodied, the acclaimed weekly radio show and podcast about sex, relationships & health from North Carolina Public Radio - WUNC. Anita is passionate about exploring identity, connection and power through storytelling. She grew up in an immigrant, mixed-race family in the Midwest, and this constant straddling of multiple worlds fueled her curiosity.

She studied Women's Studies at UNC-Chapel Hill and started her journalism career as an intern for the nationally distributed public radio program The Story. For several years, she worked for the Peabody Award-winning StoryCorps production department. After returning to WUNC, she served as lead producer, managing editor, and guest host of the station’s flagship state-wide daily talk show, The State of Things.

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