What Productivity Systems Won’t Solve
5. Pursuing "happiness."
There is no way to happiness -- happiness is the way. -- Thich Nhat Hanh
Most people believe they must:
first have something (e.g., money, time, or love)
before they can do something (e.g., travel the world, write a book, start a business, or have a romantic relationship),
that will ultimately allow them to be something (e.g., happy, peaceful, content, motivated, or in love).
Paradoxically, this "have - do - be" paradigm must actually be reversed for you to experience happiness, success, or anything else you desire:
First, be whatever it is you want to be (e.g., happy, compassionate, peaceful, wise, or loving);
then, you can start doing things from this space of being; and
almost immediately, what you are doing will bring you the things you want to have.
You attract what you are.
The longer you procrastinate or avoid doing something, the more painful (in your head) it becomes
This is what’s known as The Reward Theory of Attraction – we instinctively prioritize relationships with people who make us feel gratified when we’re around them.
Many moons ago, when I was going through a similar situation in elementary school, she told me, “Those bullies just want to make you feel bad all day long. That’s their goal. And if you continue to feel bad about their foolish antics, they win. However, if you let go of their foolish antics, and instead focus on feeling good and helping other people feel good, you win. There’s always a winner in these situations. And it’s always your choice.”
nd of course it does—unlike reading, working, physical activity, or real-life socializing, social media is an activity that takes no effort. It doesn’t require any confidence, resolve, or intention, and doesn’t entail any risk.
Research shows that it takes, on average, more than 23 minutes to fully recover your concentration after a trivial interruption.
In his book, Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity, David Allen says, “If you don’t pay appropriate attention to what has your attention, it will take more of your attention than it deserves.”
(Another Note: “selfishness” is essentially a propensity for Distractions over Solutions. Since the people around you and your relationships benefit from Solutions and Distractions generally isolate you from others, constantly pursuing Distractions will likely make you into someone no one else wants to really hang around with – unless, that is, they pursue the same Distractions that you do. You know, two peas in a crack-pipe and all that.)
When you decide that there’s nothing you can do to solve a problem, you immediately limit your possible reactions to Distractions. And if you limit your responses to Distractions enough, pretty soon you will build a Life that is made up of nothing but Habits of Distractions.
Here’s the thing: More often than not, our fear doesn’t help us avoid the feelings; it simply subjects us to them for an agonizingly long time. We feel the suffering of procrastination, or the frustration of a stuck relationship. I know partnerships that drag along painfully for years because no one is willing to speak about the elephant in the room. Taking risks, and falling, is not something to avoid. It’s something to cultivate. But how?
hing else, you’re increasing the time it takes to finish that task by an average of 25 per cent.
White workers are not divided by the fact of labor from other white demographics; they are divided from all other laborers by the fact of their whiteness.
Ostensibly assaulted by campus protests, battered by arguments about intersectionality, and oppressed by new bathroom rights, a blameless white working class did the only thing any reasonable polity might: elect an orcish reality-television star who insists on taking his intelligence briefings in picture-book form
That’s especially true when the ideology isn’t even Islamism but Islam. Maher wants Americans to denounce Islam because while “all religions are stupid, Islam just happens to be the one right now, in this century, that’s most dangerous and violent.” That’s a wild overgeneralization. “Islam” is not violent or peaceful, dangerous or benign. Like every great religion, it includes a vast array of diverse and often contradictory teachings, which different people interpret in different ways in different places and times. Yes, in some Muslim-majority countries, women and religious minorities are treated brutally. But that has far more to do with their particular national circumstances than with the fact that Muslims populate them. After all, other Muslim-majority countries have elected female heads of state. To lump together Indonesia and Yemen because both countries are mostly Muslim makes about as much sense as lumping together Ireland and the Dominican Republic because both countries are mostly Catholic.
A 2016 study from the Marijuana Policy Group, a cannabis-focused economic and public policy consulting firm in Denver, found that each dollar spent on retail marijuana in Colorado — both recreational and medical — generated $2.40 in economic activity.
Don’t shrink from new experiences and custom. Take the cold bath bravely. Enter into the spirit of your big bed-room. Enjoy what is and not pine for what is not. Read some good, heavy, serious books just for discipline: Take yourself in hand and master yourself. Make yourself do unpleasant things, so as to gain the upper hand of your soul. Above all remember: your father loves you and believes in you and expects you to be a wonderful woman."